More Words from the Soapbox: On Public Responses to Private Questions

It’s been a long time since I publically responded to the e-mails and unapproved comments I receive about this blog.  I think it’s high time I did so again.  Here are a few of the questions and comments I’ve received over the past few weeks, in no particular order.  Names and potentially identifying information have been removed.

Question:  Why do you refuse to approve the comments I post on your blog?

The thing is, I don’t like bigots and judgmental assholes.  As far as I’m concerned, I’m the only person on this blog who gets to be a bigoted, self-righteous, judgemental prick, and I do that job well enough for ten people.  Why would I want your comments on here mucking up my dick-fu?

Question:  Are all of your stories true?

Yes, but only to an extent.  The nice thing about memory is, it tends to paint you in a better light the further from the event you go.  I can’t say with 100% certainty that everything I write is absolutely, perfectly accurate.  What I try to get across are the main points, the things that stick out.  The smell of a woman’s hair (Shelley’s shampoo).  The sounds of the surrounding area (the coffee shop in Asia).  The specific phrases that stand out to me (“You’re probably the most incredible guy I’ve ever met, but I’m no one’s plaything”).  The parts in between those elements have to be recreated to the best of my recollection, but I never purposely alter a story to make it more interesting, or to make myself out as a hero, or a victim.  Each story is a memory, and is told as honestly as I can.

Comment:  No one is that good at that many things.  You must be a liar.

I happen to be an excellent liar.  But not here.  (Who the hell would I want to impress on an anonymous blog?)  And frankly, I’m only quite good at a couple of things, but my career and education choices have forced me to develop at least a working proficiency in a number of fields.  Fortunately, I’m a very fast learner.

Oh, and fuck you.

Question:  Some of your stories sound awfully familiar.  Did you fuck my wife?

Seriously, why the hell do you want to even speculate on this?  I may have fucked a lot of women, but that number is a drop in a drop in a drop in the bucket of the total number of women in the places I’ve lived.  As much as I admire women and want to pursue intimacy with every one of them, the likelihood that I fucked your wife or girlfriend or sister or whatever is astronomically small.

Question:  Do you want to?

That, on the other hand, is entirely plausible.  [Author’s Note:  Yes, I actually had a man ask if I would consider sleeping with his rather lovely wife.  What an interesting and magical place the Internet has become.]

Question:  Why do you not post more frequently?  (Or, why do you not respond to my e-mails faster?)

Because I am remarkably busy.  I’m amazed I find the time to write the two weekly entries to which I’ve committed myself.  Please don’t interpret my silence as disinterest.  There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything I’d like.

Comment:  If you really loved Ashley, you wouldn’t cheat on her and then write about it here.

You have no idea how much I struggle with this.  I write about it because it makes me feel less horrid.  I imagine it’s the same sensation Catholics feel after confession.  Not that I think anything I write here qualifies as a confession, at least in the religious sense, but it evokes a similarly cathartic response for me.

I believe I love Ashley.  My heart tells me I do.  My mind tells me I shouldn’t.  And that’s all I want to say about it right now.

Comment:  Only cowards hide behind pseudonyms.

You may be right.  I’ve never claimed to be brave, and I certainly don’t consider myself to be so.

Question:  Why did you misspell the word “tendencies” in your username?  Was it on purpose, or are you stupid?

Fuck you.  That’s why.

Question:  Are you using this blog as a means of meeting women online to fuck?

I don’t use this blog to further my sexual agenda.  Frankly, I don’t need it for that purpose–I am more than capable of picking up women on my own, thank you very much.  (However, I confess that there are certain amongst my regular readers whom I find more than slightly beguiling.)

Question:  Are you currently seeing anyone behind Ashley’s back?

Yes, I am: a woman who works at my university, and a younger woman from the yoga class I help out with.  I’m sleeping with neither at the moment, but the temptation to do so is fairly overwhelming.

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Think that’s enough for now, especially given that this is an extra third post for my week!  If you have any other questions or comments, feel free to leave ’em below.