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Has it become obvious to anyone else that I’ve struggled lately with things to write about?

I have a strict format I follow when I’m engaging in creative writing.  The first step of this method is the creation of a one-word sentence that can sum up the entire thing.  You might think of this as a “thesis statement”, if you’re a classically trained grammar nazi, but I think of it more as a seed, the point from which every other word develops.  A few that I’ve been recently considering include,

  • Having sex in a crowded theater is less exciting than it sounds.
  • Sometimes I can’t believe I’m a published author.
  • Regular people are just sexual deviants waiting for a proper shove down the bell curve.
  • Unless the giver is exceptionally skilled, road head is more distracting than pleasurable.
  • If you’re going to ask me to lick your ass, please wash it first.
  • Spontaneous orgies are more enjoyable when the door is locked.
  • Cumming on a girl’s shaved head looks an awful lot like a white-and-cream Pollock painting.
  • Fortunately, fucking has no language barrier.
  • How am I the only guy not getting blown tonight?
  • I’ve never bought a plane ticket just to fuck a woman I’ve never met, but damn is it tempting.
  • “Umm, I use that to shave my taint.”
  • I hope God has a sense of humor, otherwise I’m going straight to Hell for this one.
  • “You’re the first white guy I’ve ever met who’s hung like a black man and works it like a Mexican.”
  • A pumice stone is a necessary addition to the arsenal of sexual preparatory materials.
  • “I’m fairly certain this falls outside the manufacturer’s intended use of the playground equipment.”

I’m not sure what it is that I look for in a good post, but these all seem viable to me.  And that’s the problem, I think.  I have so much to say, to share, that singling out any one thing becomes exceedingly difficult.  I feel like anyone can write about sex.  I’d rather write something meaningful, or at least interesting to my regular readers.  After all, you guys set the bar pretty damned high.

But I also feel that too much of my writing has changed from its original intent.  I still find that catharsis when I write, but going back over my recent entries, I feel that the emphasis has changed in the months since challenging myself to commit my thoughts to paper, and becoming a member of this community.  I take great satisfaction in knowing that most of the people who read this blog enjoy my writing and find pleasure, even sexual arousal, in the stories I choose to share.  But I wonder if that satisfaction is becoming, or has already become, my reason for sharing.  Rather than to discuss my sexual addiction, or my general weakness in regard to physical pleasure, I wonder if I now write to tantalize, to intrigue, to entertain.

If so, does that mean I have developed as a writer?  Have I found an outlet for my creative and sexual energies?  Has meeting so many people with my same weaknesses, my same desires, made me more comfortable with my indiscretions?  Have I simply given up on using this blog as a means of improving myself, and has the quality of my writing diminished because of it?

These are some weighty thoughts running around my noggin.  Too weighty for a beautiful Tuesday afternoon, methinks.

I would be interested in knowing what my regular readers think.  Also, if any of those topics I put up top seem particularly interesting, feel free to say so.  It’ll be nice to have someone else tell me what to write for a change.

In the meantime, I’m going to commit these weighty thoughts to the depths of my yoga mat and see what it tells me.

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12 Comments

  1. I’m sitting in my car about to head to supervision for an hour and then I have running and possibly beers, but I had to put a place holder in to say I’ll write more later and this is by far your best post yet. I’ll explain more I promise. xx

  2. Bi – I think you have to write what you feel and not over analyze it too much. BDP when I started it was to discuss my thoughts and questions on BDSM. I don’t think you’ve even seen one of those, they stopped before you joined my little world. My blog has grown much bigger than I ever expected it to, you are a part of that world, but you have to be comfortable with what you are doing. Write what you feel or don’t write until you feel it. Either way, we’ll be here.

    GC

  3. All of those thesis statements are worth writing about. My titles are at least 50% of the time the same kind of thing, the other 50% they’re just to grab your attention — well, maybe it’s more 70/30 — in any case they’re all relevant. And guess which one I want to read about.

    I won’t chew up all the comment space with a lengthy response so I’m going to keep this concise. To my first point, this is your best post yet because it’s meta Bi; where are you? what do you want? you are here, but are you heard? where’s your pain? this is supposed to punish and process, etc, etc. You’ve become more real and that’s powerful writing.

    Re: your pointed questions: you’ve developed as a man; yes this is your space to abuse as you choose; perhaps it has made you more comfortable with your indescretions, but why not? you’re uncomfortable enough in your animate life; you have not given up improvement – you are exploring; and your writing quality has not diminished because you aren’t somehow invisibly flogging yourself for your chinks. You are being you.

  4. In case you couldn’t actually read my mind, “You’re the first white guy I’ve ever met who’s hung like a black man and works it like a Mexican,” is in my top 5.

  5. In my experience (as someone who writes on a COMPLETELY different topic and can’t quite relate – helpful, right?) is that you AND the blog will change, morph, and grow over time. There will be times when you write just for you because you need to get something off your chest, you need to analyze something, you want to improve – pick one and then add 10 more options…and then there will be times when you know it’s your audience you’re writing for – and that’s ok. What you may find is that over time, you manage to accomplish a little of what you originally set out to do with your blog and you find deeper meanings or other purposes along the way…and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    And yes, I am absolutely intrigued with all those possible ideas…so write away…

  6. In the 10+ years since I’ve been keeping my writing online in one place or another, I’ve learned not to form any kind of attachments with my readers. It might sound cold and heartless, but I started to realize that my writing became more about pleasing them than writing for my own purposes. If you’re here for catharsis or to share for the sake of sharing, then write and log off. If you’re here to meet people and form relationships, then carry on. I met one of my best real life friends through my online journal, but I can’t write with him reading anymore. It changes everything – the same way observation can change an experiment. Also keep in mind that yours is the type of writing to entice and draw in, so the temptation to form intimate online interactions is a strong one. Stay strong. Write for you. Enjoy.

  7. I’d read about every one of the topics you listed and at least half of them got me to LOL and start imagining what you’d have to say. Especially “hung like a black man, and works it like a Mexican” – Sweet baby Jesus!

  8. Bi… I’m going to try and keep this short, but we’ll see. I have learned, in 3 short months, that blogs change, especially from original intent. And, speaking from the I standpoint, as LSAM changed, so did my writing style and my purpose, and I’ve struggled with that (I had a post somewhat similar to this just this week). I remember, about 5 or so weeks in, I’d start a post, know where it was going and what the point was, and I’d get to the end, and be like, “Fuck, how did this happen? How did I end up here, when I wanted to be over there?” Now, I don’t plan it out. I just write. It comes. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it pisses people off, and once, I think it might have scared a few folks out there. Either way, it’s me. Mine. OPE, this is yours. If you want to write, don’t question the whys of it. Just do it. Maybe it is for you, but maybe you get a little geeked by the idea that there are all these people out here getting off on what you write. Who cares? Do it. In one paragraph above, you stated that it is still cathartic (good), you get satisfaction from it (good). If the why of the writing has changed a bit, but you are still experiencing cathartic satisfaction, then who the fuck cares? Buddy, sometimes you just can’t explain everything that happens. That is one thing that LSAM has taught me. That I needed to quit trying to define it, understand it, and just accept it and embrace it.

    We still love you and your writing. And whatever you decide to do with it, we’ll still be here reading it. Peace out. (And Christ, I think I swear too damn much!!)

  9. Ok my picks are:

    Regular people are just sexual deviants waiting for a proper shove down the bell curve.

    “You’re the first white guy I’ve ever met who’s hung like a black man and works it like a Mexican.”

    “I’m fairly certain this falls outside the manufacturer’s intended use of the playground equipment.”

    I hope God has a sense of humor, otherwise I’m going straight to Hell for this one.

    However, I would read any of them. I look forward to reading.

    • Thanks for the input! I’m sure I’ll address each of those at some point in the near future. (Though I’m not sure how to tell the story about being hung without sounding like a bigot.)


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